Cash Back on Refundable Milk Bottles

by Homeless T
2020-06-06. Cedar Rapids, IA.  Many persons claim to be absolutely broke; in reality, few actually are.  Let's face it: the phrase has been bandied about far too liberally in martini bars, over loan-processing conference tables, and in response to dunning creditor phone calls.  Give it a break, people!  If your creditors still talk to you, you're not broke!  They wouldn't be bothering you if you were.  Or if you are wearing duds swell enough for a decent martini bar, where you will surround yourself with all those beautiful people--you are not absolutely broke.  They wouldn't let you in the place if you were.  Even if you only have a telephone, you are not absolutely broke.  So cut it out!  

Salivation Army Wants You to Ring Their Bells at Christmas

by Homeless T




19 DECEMBER 2020. Despite the general perception of homeless men as happy wanderers--leading lives of adventure, wine, women, and song--as winter sets in, things get harder, and downright dangerous as our COVID Christmas approaches. Black Friday kicks off open season for Salivation Army's (SA) annual drafting of derelicts to serve as donation-kettle bell-ringers, doing what homeless men do best: standing around, hitting up passersby for spare change. The Supreme Commander of the SA calls this draft "bagging our bozos." Here's how it works.


Cockroaches: Smarter than You Think



by Homer L. Teabury

Ah, what fools these humans be.
2020-12-14.  Okay. You are one smart human being, appointed by Jehovah as vice-regent of His earthly holdings. Cockroaches are filthy, uncouth parasites on the domestic antisepsis of your divinely conferred patches of ground. Consequently, we stamp them out by the millions--by the billions. 

Pyrates 'o' the Poop-Deck

Posted by Homer Lester Teabury

2019-12-15

Ye be sailin' into biblical headwinds, Matey
moonin' over that frilly yellow-haired doll
who felled ye in the first place, a-falling
                   down,
           down,
drownin' yer soul in her poisonous squall.

Your Schadenfreude Cafe

by Homeless T
2011-11-27

Look me down, should ever you tumble this way.
Sample the dead duck shot down in your fray
taste all their miserable schadenfreude fare
like milk of human kindness flavored with fear
This table of boors will let you sit here


"Plenty of room, ye idgit."


Luxury Can Be a Mistress Hard to Leave Behind

by Homeless T

I could get used to this.
2019-06-23. Luxury can be a hard mistress to leave behind--easy to grow fond of, so soft, so clean and sweet-smelling. Homeless T has enjoyed a taste of such living: a beautiful woman, private accommodations since 2010's holiday season, all while starving only rarely, but who cares about food when you have a place of your own? 

Batterer's Education Program Teaches the Battered to Clam Up

by Homeless T

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 2009, CEDAR RAPIDS, IA: A statement of heartfelt contrition regarding his crime (in light of what he has learned over the course of 16 two-hour class sessions) marked Homeless T's completion of the Monday evening Batterers Education Program (BEP) at Wellington House in southeast Cedar Rapids, IA.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$


posted by Homer Les Teabury

28 August 2018. Tired of bosses starving out the hard working man? If you're working for the hourly wage at this late juncture of your life, you might consider pulling up stakes and relocating to the fracking capital of America, Williston. Fast food workers start at $18/hr, and skilled labor is proportionately scaled. Big money. Click the banner and go.

Homelessness Won't Last Forever

by H. L. Teabury


I had been on a path leading nowhere since December of 2005; out of work since December of 2007; and living on charity since December 2009, with no unemployment benefit, transportation, suitable clothing, or county relief. Perhaps the worst part of it all was being reviled by former friends.

Homeless Like Me: Sally's Cabaret 2008

by Homeless T
reprinted by Tommy George, 10 years later                             Back to Site


2008-4-15. Greetings to my homeless, about-to-be homeless, and this evening, to my never-ever-going-to-be-homeless readers. You of the latter persuasion (well-heeled, deep-pocketed, loaded with the long green, rich) have wandered into Homeless T's world for a respite from that damnable sense of ennui that sometimes besets the well-tempered souls of upperclassmen. Perfection is tedious. What you may need to satisfy your curious craving is a generous dose of Homeless T's tonic-for-the-deadly-bored.